HELP! I’VE FALLEN IN (love with) TUSCANY AND I CAN’T GET UP

Keeping In Contact with the Writers

    Throughout the course of 2007 and 2008, I had been, madly buying books on Italy, Tuscany specifically, and devouring them at a frightening pace.  I had already bought all of Frances Mayes’ books, including her picture/recipe books “At Home in Tuscany” and “Bringing Tuscany Home”.   I found Dario Castagno’s first books, “Too Much Tuscan Sun”, “Too Much Tuscan Wine”, and “A Day in Tuscany”; Beppe Severgnini’s “La Bella Figura”; both of Ferenc Mate’s “The Hills of Tuscany”, and “A Vineyard in Tuscany”; Phil Doran’s very funny “The Reluctant Tuscan”; and Michael Tucker’s “Living In A Foreign Language”.   The combination of author’s had a massive impact on me. 

     I believe in letting folks know when they do a good job and I liked their work.  So, I started emailing the authors.  First was Ferenc Mate:

Re: Compliments On "A Vineyard In Tuscany" & "The Hills of Tuscany" 

Mr. Mate: 

I have now read both of your Tuscany books and I want you to know how much my 

wife and I have enjoyed them.  Thank you for sharing your life, your family, and 

passions with us.  Visiting Italy has always been high on my list of things to 

do when I retire, but, for now, reading your words will have to be enough. 

I hope that I might have the honor of visiting your winery, if open to the public, if we 

ever make it to Tuscany. 

Thank you, 

David Jones 

To my surprise he responded:

Dear Mr. Jones, 

Many thanks for your generous comments, it's always rewarding to hear that 

someone has been moved enough to write a note. 

Yes we are near La Villa, and do stop by to taste some wine when you're in 

Tuscany. 

 Best regards, 

 Ferenc Mate 

Next, I tried Phil Doran.  He wrote back, too:

Dear David,

    Thanks so much for your kind note, I can't tell you how much it means to hear you like my book. All the events in the book are true, although I did compress the time-line and consolidate some of the characters to make the story more manageable.

    The film rights to the book have been optioned by John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston who would play us in the movie. We were having discussions when they suffered the loss of their son so there hasn't been any further movement while they grieve.

    Nancy has gotten away from sculpting to pursue an art form that's physically less demanding and if you go to her website you can see the portraits she's been painting. 

     Once again David, thanks for taking the time to write, and I hope you get to Italy soon and perhaps you can visit, see Nancy's studio, and the two of you can discuss painting. 

         Ciao for now,

        Phil Doran

Wow.  These guys sound like real people.  I was inspired and wrote Dario Castagno.  He wrote back:

Ciao David 

                Thanks for your note. Fortunately due to very strict laws the 

Tuscan countryside is still unspoilt and as it has always been. Also we have a 

very low density of population so "our" Tuscany is still as we authors describe 

it. The Tuscan craze has seemed to have dimmered and because of the crises fewer 

tourists flock here. 

The podere Ferrale is on the border between the boroughs of Castellina and 

Radda, the place is quite beautiful ( I slept there in 1979 when it belonged to 

a schoolmate of mine) The etruscan tombs I mention in my book are very close and 

following our studies we believe that Ferrale was the original acropolis meaning 

2500 years ago (!) 

My second book A day in Tuscany is available in the US bookshops while 

Too Much Tuscan Wine (by far my least worst book!) at the moment is only 

available through my site.  If you decide to order it please inform me whom I should 

sign them too ( in both cases I send them direct from home) and I shall also send you 

a DVD I shot based on my second book I hope that Too Much Tuscan Wine gets 

published (I'm seeking for a new US publisher) and in that case I shall return to the 

US and Portland where I have a big following! 

Ciao 

Dario 

This was great.  He was a real person, even though he was trying to make a living, too.  In late July I sent him a follow up.  He wasn’t as cheerful this time:

Re: Tuscan Tours,etc. 

Ciao...the Palio was won by Tartuca...I will not be attending the event in 

MA...just my oil will. 

Alma Domus is well located...I think though that the snag is they have curfew 

I recomend the Comapagnia dei vinattieri, enoteca i terzi, Guido, Nello uoi really

 MUST rent a car or even a scooter (thought of that?) public transportation will 

take you to the towns but you will miss so much of the beauties of Tuscany. 

I never got hold of a publisher and am currently seeking for a job; I might be 

working as a waiter nest season  

Ciao 

Dario

     It sounded like the depression/recession had hit as hard in Italy as it had in Oregon.  I shot back a response and told him not to wait tables, I had done it in my twenties before teaching and I still have nightmares about it.     

     Now Michael Tucker has made a comfortable living being an actor, and was doing fine with his two books; he even bought a house in Umbria just writing about his eating habits.  I love to eat too and long for a cuisine that only uses fresh ingredients and a long heritage of incredible food.  Compared to Tucker, I am a ‘neophyte’ when it comes to cuisine and wine, but why, I’ve been eating (well) practically my whole life and drinking for a part of my adult life as well!  Why couldn’t I become an expert?

     I found the ‘Tucker-berry’s (Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker) website on line in February of 2008 and decided to let Mister Tucker know how much his book enticed me.  The email was a short, maybe four paragraphs, email that let him know how much we both liked his book, and that I too had the dream, not the reality, to go to Italy. 

     He actually wrote back, a month or so later thanking me for the compliments and said we should just go for it!  Go to Italy.  Well, that’s fine for him to say, he has more money than I’ll ever have.  I kept re-reading his book and wondering why Marianne and I couldn’t have an Italian experience.  I really think that between Ferenc, Phil, and Michael, (okay, and Mayes) the ‘seed’ of ‘travel Italia’ had been planted so firmly into my psyche that poor Marianne wouldn’t even have a chance of saying ‘no’ or ‘dis-swaying’ me when the un ‘bridled monster’ broke out into the open in early June.  “Feed me!  I must go to Tuscany!”

HELP! I’VE FALLEN IN (love with) TUSCANY AND I CAN’T GET UP

Donatella, Andiamo Mamma!  (Fall 2009)

     Bigfork that year was the first time I had ever taken the laptop on vacation with us.  Sometimes it is a welcome companion, other times it is not.  Since the weather the second week of August in Montana was unseasonably wet, the internet as a great alternative to watching cable television—mostly summer reruns.

     It amazes me the amount of responses you get when you type in the words “Chianti Wine Tours”.  There’s a ‘bajillion’.  I could have gone through them one by one and spent all three nights looking for the perfect one, but when I saw “from Siena” and “Fonterultoli”  I clicked on it immediately.  This is when I ‘met’ Donatella—thirty-something wife and mother and a licensed tour guide who lives in Siena.  Her company is Wine Tours in Tuscany.

     Now I am a sucker for a pretty face and tons of pictures with really happy tourists drinking wine.  I fell more in love with each new link I clicked.   Donatella looked personable, knowledgeable, and fun-loving.  She was ready to make all my Chianti dreams come true.  And I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.  After reading everything twice, I decided to fill out her contact form and send it immediately.  She actually didn’t take long to respond:

Informativa Privacy (ex D.lgs 196/03) 

Le informazioni contenute nel presente documento e relativi allegati possono 

essere riservate e sono destinate esclusivamente alla persona o alla società 

indicata come destinatario. La diffusione e la distribuzione del presente documento 

a soggetti da quelli diversi indicati, od in generale qualsivoglia utilizzo illecito dei 

dati ivi contenuti, è proibita sia ai sensi dell'art.616 del Codice Penale che 

dal D.Lgs 196/03 in materia di protezione dei dati personali (Privacy). Se avete 

ricevuto per errore questo documento siete pregati di distruggerlo e di 

comunicarcelo prontamente tramite e-mail o fax. 

My Italian didn’t even come close to translating her response, if it was 

her and not a computer-generated one.  After we returned from Montana, 

we did get a response from Donatella in English:

Dear David, dear Marianne, 

thank you for you kind e-mail and for contacting me. 

I confirm my availability for the week June 20th to 26th, 2010. I send you what I 

have planned for your wonderful days in Tuscany. 

The tour is all inclusive, all tastings and lunch. Let me know if that suits you ok. 

You'll receive 5% discount if you'll book 2 or more. Please feel free asking me 

any questions or if you would like to receive another program. 

All my best, 

Donatella 

Ciao Donatella: 

We received your e-mail yesterday morning and were so happy to read about 

the two excursions.  Incredible! They are wonderful, and doing both of them would 

be like a dream come true.  Would one of the stops in Chianti be Fonterutoli?  I 

noticed on your web site a picture captioned "Fonterutoli" (the winery I would 

most like to visit next to anything in Montalcino--which we have plans to see) 

and my heart jumped for joy.  "Andiamo, mamma!" We also saw the cooking 

classes and cried, "Bella!" However, Marianne and I are mere mortals and our

 means are even more so. I am so afraid to disappoint you, but we don't think 

we can afford both trips.  We might be able to do a modified version of the 

San Gimignano--Volterra excursion.  I am truly sorry.  We are so impressed 

with your web site, your expertise, and even your family. I do not want to cause 

any hard feelings, Donatella. Honestly, we wouldn't dream of taking you away 

from a profitable tour, during peek tourist season, to drive to Firenze and take 

two middle-aged Americans around on a reduced-rate excursion. Please, let 

us know what you would like to do. We respect whatever you have to say.  

 Thank you for your time and information.  I hope your summer is still going strong. 

Molto grazie, David and Marianne Jones 

Dear friends, 

I really want that your dreams will become truth!!! 

Your words about my family, my programs and also about 

my website have really touched me. Thank you. Now...., if you'll book the 2 tours 

( exactly how I have presented to you and also included Fonterutoli winery!!!) I 

make for you my best price in € 660,00 total. I'll appreciate if the payment it 

will be by cash. You are so nice that I wish to meet you. 

Take care, 

Donatella 

Ciao Donatella: 

 I apologize for not being prompter about responding. 

Thank you for you great offer.  We love the two tours. I want to say 'yes' to your 

kind offer, and we also really do want to meet you, but I am just so concerned 

about 

the money (and I hate being like this).   I have friends who say "it's only money," 

and they are right, but these two weeks in Tuscany-Umbria are like 4 months of 

income for me. We don't want to leave you hanging, and we do want to be 

responsible and realistic.   When do you need a firm commitment from us?    

Molto grazie, 

David and Marianne Jones 

Dear Marianne, dear David, 

I really feel you like good friends so that I want to do my best to satisfy you. 

If for you is ok, I'll contact you at the end of September. 

 What I offer you it will be a great unforgettable experience spend in one of 

the most beautiful area in the world but I understand the money problem is not 

a small one. 

 For the moment enjoy these last summer days. 

 My best, 

Donatella 

     We put the wine tour plans on hold for a while, knowing that 

these Tuscans can play hardball when it comes to charging for tours.  

 Meanwhile, I kept looking for tours and places to stay for our third 

week in Tuscany.  One Sunday Marianne found an ad in the Sunday 

magazine that comes in the local paper—You Enchanted Italy.  I 

found the sight and explored it thoroughly.   Brent Cook runs an 

operation that can do anything for the traveler.  I was still looking 

for the perfect tour to San Gimignano or Volterra and had done a 

lot of research.  After I emailed and explained our ‘semi-plans’ he 

wrote back:

       Brent Crook:

Hi David and Marianne,

 Thanks for contacting me at Your Enchanted Italy.  WOW, you've already
done a lot of work on your trip, good job!  I should mention that I don't handle
airline tickets –

but highly recommend this travel agency in Seattle: http://www.elizabethholmes.com/   
tell them I sent you - they're great!
 Regarding the rest of your trip - I can gladly act as a consultant for all of your other
needs - villa, apartments, tours, etc.  My consulting fee is $100 but I'll also make
contacts for you etc.  Montestigliano normally rents for a week during high season
but she would do 5 day rentals in high season-  probably nothing shorter than that
but I have other options we can consider for a shorter stay.  Glad to help out - let
me know if that's okay,

Ciao,

Brent

Brent Crook

www.yourenchanteditaly.com

     Enchantingly enough his prices were more outlandish than Donatella’s.   
I never wrote back after that first contact.  I did contact Donatella later 
on and tried to keep the connection going.  It did feel that maybe we 
may not be the cliental that she was really after.  I was hoping for a 
plan B if she was just a sweet talker waiting to dump me for the next 
Joe to come along with deeper pockets.  Even though my pockets 
were about as shallow as they get.

HELP I'VE FALLEN IN (love with) TUSCANY AND I CAN'T GET UP

The Amazing Hot Tub Saga Part 1

   I went back to work the last week of August and tried to keep my nose to the grind stone.  Amazingly enough I decided to take on another project, besides school and church music.  Our friends Myana and Leonard found us a free “like new” hot tub.  All we had do to was move it (by means of a crane!), clear the grass by the patio, level it, weed guard it, gravel it, pour a concrete slab, get a 220 electrical hook up run from the breaker box, place it on the slab, fill it and turn it on.  Easy.   Right?   And like the gullible oaf I am, I said yes.  Thus began the “Amazing Free Hot Tub” story.

     Leonard, Stinky as he has come to be affectionately called, can drive anything and build nearly everything.  His stories of driving trucks, manufacturing trailers for semis, and drinking, will go down in the annals of “the most incredible feats ever attempted” for posterity.  Leonard can take anything and make something from it.  He can buy ‘junker’ trucks, repair or dismantle them and turn a healthy profit.  He never needs to buy new.  Ever.  Except when Myana puts her foot down and says, “No, if we’re getting new appliances for the kitchen, we are getting new ones.  He is amazing—he can be a Safeway at the right time every week to get the reduced items before they are picked.  He gets all his meats, wines, you name like that.  I can’t believe his luck and cleverness.

     Stinky's and Myana’s hot tub was also free.  Of course, he did have to haul it himself, create a deck and steps, repair the pump motor, and various other things, but it is up and running and used nightly if not weekly.  The couple has even dabbled in wine making:  Finding all the carbuncles, and other assorted apparatus to turn their crushes Marechal Foch grapes into a potent brew.  They even named their brand, “Flamingo Farms”.  I painted the label for them.  Flamingos are part of a funny incident that happened on their wedding day.   During the reception at their house, a UPS truck showed up with six huge boxes, which got stacked in the middle of their ‘cozy’ front room with a hundred guests.  Inside:  20 pink plastic flamingo lawn ornaments—sent by her ex-boy friend as a wedding ‘present’.  The pink bird on the label is a humorous reminder to us all of that day.

     Now, the only rough part of getting this free hot tub was we had to remove it from the owner’s deck and get it into our yard.  Simple—right?  Wrong.  The 8’ by 8’, 3 ½ foot tub was sitting behind the woman’s garage.  Did I mention she lives on the uphill side of one of the steepest hills in Roseburg?  Did I also mention that the garage is two stories high and the deck is 15 to 20 feet above the driveway’s retaining wall?  The only way to get this tub is with a crane--a really big crane.  Leonard was positive he could get the tube out without a ‘scratch’.   Umm.  Did this have disaster written all over it?  I hoped not.

    At one of our impromptu dinner parties, after the multi-course dinner, with great home grown vegetables, a grilled rare flank steak, and more bottles of wine than six people have a right to drink the idea was born. The plan was conceived, hatched and given ‘wings’:  Stinky and our friend Doug, a contractor, mapped out for us exactly what would happen when, what they would do, and what I had to do.  First I had to clear a 12’ by 12’ section of grass, and fill it with gravel.  “How am I going to get that done?”  Between us we have three trucks, so no problem.  You just have to use your wheel barrow and get it around to the back of your house.  Fine, I thought.  I was no stranger to a little hard physical labor.  I did my whole back yard that way.  Okay, what about pouring the slab?  I did do the slab for the AC unit when Myana and Leonard’s house was ours.  I could mix about 15-20 bags of concrete and pour it a wheel borrow load at a time?  Nope, no, it’s too much concrete, you need a truck.  Oh that will run about $500.  We can’t afford that, we’re saving to go to Italy. 

      “Okay, so I’ll need call for a truck, I guess”. 

     “Not so fast,” says Doug, I know this guy who works for this concrete company and they are always looking for someone or place to ‘drop’ the end of a load.  I’ll get you some concrete.  Trust me”

     “Oh, did I mention that I called the crane guy and he can deliver the tub next Thursday?”

    “Uh, no.”

    “We can just get it off the deck, swing it over the garage roof and set it down on a trailer in the driveway.  Then we’ll haul it over here and set it on its side on a piano dolly.  Then when you get the yard ready and the concrete poured, the tub will be right there to move around to the back.”

     “How many guys is that going to take to move?”

    “Maybe four, those things are light.”

     “Are you sure about all this?”

     “Yeah.  Not problem.  Just don’t worry.  Everything will be just great.”

   I said “okay”, but I was thinking this could be even worse then the time I moved an upright piano across town when I was in college.  I was doing fine, until I had to turn a quick corner into traffic, and quick as quick, the grand old upright grand was pieces and parts. 

     Marianne calls these little forays into the unknown, “The Road to Abilene”.  That’s an older business expression where the administration ‘builds-up’ the workers into a frenzy about doing something that is totally impossible to do, but everybody’s ‘on-board’, and everybody busts their butts to get it done, but because it is an impossible task, it never gets done, and everybody is pissed off that they went through the whole exercises in the first place.  Did I mention the hot tub was free?

     I quickly arranged to get an estimate from an electrician for putting in the 220 conduit.  I spent that Sunday afternoon, and Monday getting the sod removed.  The following Friday I loaded a borrowed pick-up truck with a cubic yard of sod and dirt.  This little Chevy S-10 is great for going to the dump and it’s used by all the neighbors.  Our friend across the street (a retired teacher) is always generous to a fault and even watches our house when we go away. 

     So I head out to the dump in this small truck, did I mention the small bench seat in the tiny cab does not adjust so my knees wrap up around the steering wheel (which is in my chest).  I get to the dump at 4:05 PM and was told that they couldn’t take that much, dirt and sod, and that I had to go up to the landfill.  When the attendant said that, I got a lump in the pit of my stomach.  “The only problem is that they close at 4 PM.  You’ll have to come back in the morning at 8 AM.”  I smiled, thanked the attendant and drove the truck back home.  Grumbling all the way.

     8 AM the next morning I drove the pick-up back out to the land fill.  It was peaceful and still and as I took the loaded down to the axles S-10 up the hill to the ‘landfill’ a family of deer crossed the road about 30 feet ahead and I was happy and ‘one’ with my world.  It’s the yoga practice kicking in.  Once I got to the site, things changed quickly.  Big trucks and graters roared and belched carbonized diesel and the stench of rotting refuse flooded the cab.  I back up to the edge of the pit and got my gloves on and started to unload.  It was at that exact moment that the first really good rain storm in four months hit Douglas County.  The dried sod turned to mud instantly and I was drenched in the skin through three layers of shirts.  The thirsty, dried turf went from light weight, easy to handle chunks to heavy water soaked ‘back-strainers’ in seconds.  I was sure glad that God had given me the ability to appreciate getting absolutely filthy and wet clear through to my sock and underwear.  I guess we sure needed that rain.

     Once I got home and removed all the wet cloths, I found new work cloths and proceeded to empty, wheelbarrow load by wheelbarrow load, the gravel from the trailer Leonard had left for me during the week.  It was made even heavier by how much water had mixed with the dirty and rock.  By noon, I was finished.  Really.  I didn’t want to do another thing all day.  I was beat.

    I waited another week for another load of gravel, which I unloaded in a couple of hours.  It goes faster when the rock is dry.  It was then I realized that Stinky had never gotten the crane and the tub wasn’t sitting in the yard by last Thursday.  Maybe something was wrong.  No.  He hadn’t gotten hold of the crane operator yet.  But he said I needed to make sure Doug had the concrete coming, because we were going to build the form for the pad this weekend.  Sounds good, I thought.  Well, no.   Doug hadn’t talked to anyone about the concrete, and he didn’t know when he could.  Great.

     Later that weekend Marianne and I got a chance to go see the hot tub in its nature state, perched high above its surrounding on its hill.  It was a fine looking tub, but it was in a near impossible spot for removing.  I really wondered if a crane operator could be skilled enough to maneuver it out of its remote resting roost.  I asked the owner, an old acquaintance, if she had ever used it.   She said no. 

     “It wasn’t my thing,’ she said.  She had just moved in and wanted the deck space that it took up. 

     “So did it run well when you turned it on?”  I asked.

     “Oh, I hadn’t ever turned it on.” 

     “Oh.”  The sound of a record needle went scraping across the vinyl LP in my mind.  I’m going to get a tub that might not even work.  I smiled, thanked her, and Marianne and I left.  We got in the car and drive down the insanely steep driveway.  We looked at each other and just shook our heads.  Are we idiots or what?

     It had been over a week since I had finished getting the gravel area ready in my back yard.  The lumber for the form was purchased and I was still waiting for Leonard to come with his equipment to help me build the form.  Doug wasn’t returning my calls and his wife, Molly, my church choir accompanist was more concerned about the multiple projects that she had him doing, rather than my concrete pad.  Please, just remind him he was the one who had the connections to get this done for me.  Leonard may show up at my door step with a tub any day now, I pleaded.  I knew full well that getting the tub was also the farthest thing from his mind.

     I came home to an e-mail from Sam Cossa that week:

Dear Dave,
There is so much I could say...  The bottom line is that you are going to have a great time (in Italy).
I would say the best 10 bucks you could spend would be the 2009 edition of Rick Steve’s guide to Italy (he also has separate guides for individual cities and regions).  We found his stuff to be full of all sorts of little details and inside info.
Just a couple of practical matters:  Using your Visa card is the best way to pay for stuff, even at open air markets.  Cash machines are reasonably easy to find.  Don't bring traveler’s checks as there is so much counterfeiting that many places won't take them.  Don't buy any telephone cards here for long distance calls.  Buy them in Italy.  They are sold in many bars and they make it easy to call home from pay phones for dirt cheap.
Also, internet cafes are very plentiful there.

Sam

Ah, something positive to make the passing days preparing for the hot tub.

Yea!